Wasn't that bad I guess...

With two exams down and five more to go I'm starting to think my half yearlies this year round ... Then again I've yet to do my physics and 3 unit Maths test so maybe it's a bit early to be joyful.


-- Post From My iPhone

exams T_T

once again that time is upon us again, exam time. I am once again unprepared ( atleast to what i would like to be) and eager to get them over with. English tomorrow, going to be one heck of a joy ride.

Yea i proabably should be studying but my mind is running at a million miles per hour so its hard to concentrate on anything T___T

sigh so much for uai of 92 ...

be honest with me

They say when it comes to things that fails, that its 3rd time lucky but i dont need luck, i need you to be honest with me.
while your honesty might hurt me now, it will make it easier for me to heal when the time comes so please be honest with me and be honest with yourself.

Im not going to deny it , i still have feelings for you but these feelings are at times clouded by doubts and troubles. If you want me to be yours, show me that your mine because thats the only way i think we could work.

so dont tell me what you think i want to hear, tell the truth. how do you feel about me ? how much do you like me? how much do you want it to be us, not you and me? Whats going to be the different this time or is it going to end up like before?

When i think of us, i think of the time and fun we had on your birthday, on the train, in the aquarium and on the ride back home. Because that was the moment i thought the defined us, but i guess you thought differently didnt you?

i dont blame you for having second thoughts, but for us, i need you to make up your mind and commit, because being with you feels like a rollercoaster for me.

i know it seems like i whine alot about us , i know it seems like i want this "perfect" relationship between us , but for me in reality i just want us to work out.

so tell me where we stand,prove to me that there can be a us and we'll go from there.

I really need to stop sleeping in the arvos
really messea with my sleep patterns
diu


-- Post From My iPhone

Trust issues

I really really do have trust issues. I find it hard to trust anyone i don't know well enough to predict their next move in any situation. I can walk up to a stranger and start a conversation fine but when it comes to someone talking to me out of the blue my mind hits thr over drive button and starts waning to take control of the situation by any means neccessary. my god... Have i become a control freak without realising it?


-- Post From My iPhone

NO NO NO NO WTF NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO .. how gay

FUCK!
no dragonskin! no 3 day hike in freezing conditions ... no getting busted for suspected alcohol drinking xD... no doing shit thats overnight and scout related T__________T

man wtf is this sif have tutoring on easter holidays!

gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

on the other hand i met alice's little brother yesterday, funny kid. He wanted to take the elevator up to the 2nd floor of the library so i played along and jst as the door was about to close... i ran out but that kid is fast too man ... started hitting me and all as we walked up the stairs. Later on he had to go toilet and forced me to go with him ==', refused to let me stay out side cause he thought i would dog him .. again xD. Cool kid though, got invited to his birthday chyeahhhhh

sigh.. exams are coming up soon with nothing to do but study my brains to death i guess....

note to future self: If something goes wrong and the shit hits the roof, ALWAYS think back, know where you went wrong then try to fix it. If you still get the same results, theres no point to it; its a lost cause. No such thing as third time lucky for lil patty i guess

anyways back to swearing and whinging, Damn it no more camps T_T, no more hikes, No more kayaking.

Cant wait the the HSC is over get to go back to old me =D, old, crazed adrenalined pumped and ODed me.

i love me; specifically old me =)

PS if you guys ever look back at the year 12 muck up photos of sefton 09 ( thats if they get accepted by the school) then look for a guy in a white mask with black lense on the top row.

another turn ...

My life is extremely wierd...
last week has been a good week for me, the first in a while actually. Even with the Modern history in class essay.

On Saturday i called in a favour and got Gary to drive me to Action Paintball so i could get my gear. Turns out Gary has a really good car, nice smooth but quiet one hour drive to the place. Bought my gear, some what disappointed that they didnt have my pack/harness in sizes S/M, so i had to grab a L/XL. It's not really a problem i guess.. just gotta either modify it myself or grow a few more inches in the waist T___T.

The Empire E-Vents are the best man. Looks insanely awesome. Breathing in these things are great, very comfortable and just feels so good to have them on.

Can't wait to the next paintball game. i'm going to stand out like a fox among sheeps =D