you're not special. atleast not any more.

I always held onto the fact that you were special. You were like no other girl in the world. But to be honest, now, you're not special. you're like any other girl. I told you i was absorbed in the memories we had, but thanks to you and your truths you've ripped me right back to reality.

I was always there for you. I've always put you in front of my personal feelings. ALWAYS.

You say you were at your darkest moment when all this happened, yet you never turned to me. You didn't even try. You just gave up and gave in. And now you realised what you've been doing, what the monster inside of you is capable of , you turn to me in hopes i'm willing to save you with your delayed truth?

Last year we agreed we would wait till after your HSC before you tried anything. I waited. You didn't. Instead you continued your whore slutting spree and dated a guy, brought him to my 18th birthday. A day i wanted to share with you cause i felt we still had a connection even though we had strayed so far apart. You should know, when he walked in, I was high as a fucking kite on marijuana, i was THIS close to knocking him out for crashing.

Yes I'm pissed you slept with two guys.

Yes I'm pissed I wasn't your first and you weren't mine.

But I'm FURIOUS that you didn't turn to me.

I'm BETRAYED by the fact you held the truth and asked me to wait.

I'm DISGUSTED that you were so afraid of losing me that you refused to give me the option to let me live my life.

I'm DISAPPOINTED that you're not special to me anymore.

I'm CONFUSED because whatever i do, i have to endure a pain that isn't mine to start with.

Honestly I can't deal with you right now. I told you I'm sorry about how this turned out. I told you it's probably best if you take some time off and rethink your life. That's the most I can do for you.

Don't expect anything else from me. You're not special. You're like any other girl. I won't give you the special treatment you don't deserve.

rock bottom, everyone hits it once in a while

I'm sorry, I just don't care anymore.

A good chess player thinks 3 moves ahead. An excellent chess player thinks 1 move ahead,but it's the move that matters.

forgive but never forget

It's what a vengeful son of a bitch would say. You forgive everything but you'll never forget it.

So it's been around 4 months since I've posted, things are pretty much the same. Still got the haters, still got the friends, still got the parties, still got the post HSC lifestyle. Attitudes gone and done itself a whole new overhaul. Trust fewer people than ever. But in the end, everyone is forgiven but only ever held at an arm's length.

On the brighter side of life, I've passed my first semester of uni.

Never become a liability

While i am underage for drinking, it doesnt mean i dont drink or smoke or what nots. However i do believe that when doing so, it should be done responsible manner. I also believe that until you've graduated atleast High School you should not be touching any of the 'lollypop' drinks and the 'hard' liquor.

Most importantly i believe if you drink, it is up to you and solely you to be responsible for yourself and your own actions, blaming it on the 'juice' is not a sufficient reason for becoming a liability to yourself and those around you. This is why i dislike partying with people who are still in High School, they dont social drink like most of us. THEY DRINK TO BE 'COOL'

Seriously guys, dont drink till you've graduated.

i turned my back on the 'Sefton life' for a second and look what happened!

Lately I've been more focused on all my life but my 'Sefton life' and when i check up, boy has that changed. People who were once friends are now enemies, people who i thought were trustworthy have become backstabbers, everything has changed and apparently ive changed too.

I guess i have changed quite a bit since the HSC has ended, im less conservative. im more willing to act before i think , drink before i think really. HAHAHAHA and to this i would like to thank all the parties ive been to since December 09! THANK YOU HANNY! THAN YOU PETER DO! THANK YOU JORDAN! THANKYOU STEPHEN (ish)! THANKYOU CHI HAI AND CARMEN! THANK YOU LISA! AND MOST OF ALL THANKYOU CANLEY VALE PEOPLE!

So yes while i have changed, my core beliefs still stand strong and the same as they will ever be.
AND YES i do hear you seftoners disapproving of my new life but guess what?! SHUT THE FUCK UP! either accept me or break the connections you have with me cause god knows ive broken and turn my backs on so many of you forever. DONT be a whingy bitch about how YOU think ive changed for the worse and hope that you'll get thru to me. THIS IS WHO I AM, DONT LIKE IT? FUCK UP AND FUCK OFF. Oh and too those seftoners please please dont think youre all the shit in this world, because you sure as hell aint a big fish, if anything youre just the small fish in this very big pond. AND NO i am not saying im a big fish, hell im probably a smaller fish than most of you guys but i sure as hell growing. SO heres a thought stop being a judgmental whinge little bitch and experience some life you conservative fucks.

As said before, you either go hard or you go home. Cause i aint getting drag down by anyone.

i think ive won the 'pissoffmyex' game

Last Saturday was a busy night for me. Had quite a few destinations before i arrived at Lisa's 18th party.

First off was to the nearest petrol station with a air pump and make sure my tires are nicely inflated so when i took people joy riding it wouldn't kill my tires.

Second, i headed off to David le's 18th party, not to crash but just to pick up a package for Kelvin. And here is where the fun really starts!

When Shirley and I dated, she always dreamed about me getting my motorcycle license and riding around with her on the back. Well obviously i never got them till after we broke up.

So i rocked up to party and almost immediately the spot light was on me. i remember Hong Dinh screaming " OMG WHO IS THAT?! WHO THE FUCK IS THAT ON THE BIKE", Andrew: "PATRICKKKKKKKKKKKKK IS HEREEEEEEEEEE" and many people gathering around my bike while some looked on from a safe distance such as David's balcony or the park's logs. So i went in to David's house, carrying my helmet in one hand and glasses on. Found Vicky and grabbed Kelvin's gear off Brandon. Vicky asked the night or so before if i could take her on a ride, so i did. Kenny was being a little dick and giving me the pinky and bitching about how big the jacket was on me, little does he know that its just the padding and armor that makes it seem big.

Jimmy being concern wanted a ride first, so i took him down the street and back. Then Vicky jumped on, more people concern especially Maxine. I took her down the road and then stopped the engine, had a chat with some of the boys who i would later meet at Lisa's again.

Then headed off to Lisa's, realising i was was way too early, i went over to Vinh's. Only to realise he went to camp so i just stayed at Vinh's watching SBS news and discussing the easiest and fast route for me to get from Vinh's to Lisa's.

Lisa's party was great but as the night went on, it got more confusing with people coming in and out. It became increasingly hard to keep track of people and faces. Left the party around 12ish.

Today i was talking to Brandon who was at David's

.patrick aspire to inspire says (11:38 PM):
*eh i know its a weird question but when i came my ex wasnt there was she? :S

(*) ßRANDON ™ (*) :) GRAPHIC DESIGNER HERE I COME BITCHES!!! :) FASHION IS A MAYBE .;) ARTIST = HOBBY. :) says (11:38 PM):
*yes she was
*she was talking with us when you arrive
*d

.patrick aspire to inspire says (11:38 PM):
*akward...

(*) ßRANDON ™ (*) :) GRAPHIC DESIGNER HERE I COME BITCHES!!! :) FASHION IS A MAYBE .;) ARTIST = HOBBY. :) says (11:38 PM):
*she was really Qiet

.patrick aspire to inspire says (11:38 PM):
*LOL

(*) ßRANDON ™ (*) :) GRAPHIC DESIGNER HERE I COME BITCHES!!! :) FASHION IS A MAYBE .;) ARTIST = HOBBY. :) says (11:38 PM):
*Quiet*

.patrick aspire to inspire says (11:39 PM):
*she was the one who wanted me to get a bike in the first place...

(*) ßRANDON ™ (*) :) GRAPHIC DESIGNER HERE I COME BITCHES!!! :) FASHION IS A MAYBE .;) ARTIST = HOBBY. :) says (11:39 PM):
*she didnt speak a word
*LMAO
*she likes GUys with Bikes?
*LMAo

.patrick aspire to inspire says (11:39 PM):
*i dunno
*i think so?
*lol
*i remember how we use to talk about me getting a bike
*and she was use to joke about jumping me the moment she saw the bike

.patrick aspire to inspire says (11:40 PM):
*where jump is a sexual connotation thingy
*:L

(*) ßRANDON ™ (*) :) GRAPHIC DESIGNER HERE I COME BITCHES!!! :) FASHION IS A MAYBE .;) ARTIST = HOBBY. :) says (11:40 PM):
*hahaah, lol

.patrick aspire to inspire says (11:41 PM):
*ahh well atleast i got part of my revenge :L

(*) ßRANDON ™ (*) :) GRAPHIC DESIGNER HERE I COME BITCHES!!! :) FASHION IS A MAYBE .;) ARTIST = HOBBY. :) says (11:41 PM):
*well, yeh, LMAO

.patrick aspire to inspire says (11:41 PM):
*and the funny thing is vicky is part of my ex;s group

(*) ßRANDON ™ (*) :) GRAPHIC DESIGNER HERE I COME BITCHES!!! :) FASHION IS A MAYBE .;) ARTIST = HOBBY. :) says (11:41 PM):
*Revenge is Sweet, served with Ice cream
*ahaha

.patrick aspire to inspire says (11:41 PM):
*so the ride thing.... :L

(*) ßRANDON ™ (*) :) GRAPHIC DESIGNER HERE I COME BITCHES!!! :) FASHION IS A MAYBE .;) ARTIST = HOBBY. :) says (11:41 PM):
*LMAo
*thats Funny

Why you're still my facebook friend

TO JEN DO! I don't give a sht about you or your life, you exploited our friendship and now the shit is starting to hit the fan. Also the only reason why you're still one of my 'facebook' friend is because I want to hear all the bullshit that you'll think I'll believe when you talk to me. If you're going to bulshit, atleast bulshit within reason or better yet have a friend proofread and ensure your bulshit isn't too farfetch. Everyone is bitching about you because they know better than to believe your bulshit and see thru all the flaws of the bulshit.

What makes it worse is the fact you when you try to justify and prove your bulshit is true, you actually do the opposite. You want to prove people wrong? Screw trying to convince them, talk is cheap. Give us some hard concrete evidence and all this can disappear.

Hell half of us don't even give a shit about your ATAR, we hate, distrust, dislike you for who you are and how you are. Getting a 99 ATAR, means squat nowadays.

So please either go hard or go the fuck home. Kthnxbye



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