CHYEAH!

My first week of HSC exams have past and i feel as if ive been bulshitting them. Which is a really bad thing because i actually studied really hard for them...

On the other hand we got out muck up photo on friday. I am the one on the top row, with the BETTER looking mask and look as if im trying to start a war with my one hand striking the air.
I must admit it does look very ... empowering? motivating? memorable (Y)
Majority of the poses are very generic and bland, i reckon the good ones are the one that stands out.

In other news yesterday i realised how much of a role model i am to so many little kids despite my issues with my life and all. The list so far is Ryan, Nathan (Co Ki's kids and Shirley's cousin), Lochlan from my mum's childcare centre at home, Brendon Alice's little brother, Johnny Hanny's little brother. Not such a bad list for a kid who's only been on this planet for 17 years i reckon. So why have i just realised this? Yesterday, Xena, Dinh's daughter came over to give me a picture. Something i really wasn't expecting. It was an A4 photo of Ryan and I in my kayak paddling away at Camp Wyndia. I remember Co Ki taking a lot of pictures of Ryan, Nathan piggy backing on my Kayak on the last day of the camp but i wasn't really expecting an A4 photo delivered to my door. So this has made me come with a new (another) rule to live my life by, "Aspire to inspire".

Let the fear spread

Today is the first day of the 2009 HSC exam, starting off with a Business exam at 930.
I rocked up to school today to see if there were any changes to the normal examination procedure we go through we do with our own school exams. Verdict? No change

It feels good to be able to rock into school wearing casual and no have the principal call the cops on you. It even feels better to not have my phone on silent and wear a bluetooth headset. I spent majority of my time from 9:30 to 12:30 in the library studying up on AOS:belonging for English
Signed out at 12:31, waited nearly half an hour for the guys to finish collecting the Business exam. Headed off to subways bass hill with Jack driving and me shotgun.

After a filling meal jack drove me home where i slepted for 3 hours.... instead of a 30 minute nap. Damn little kids who keep crying. Don't they understand i have my HSC?

Well back to memorising Skrzynecki quotes and related text. STUDY UP!

it fast approaches and once again im unprepared for it again

With a maximum of 2 days of study left to the start of my HSC, the fear of not getting the marks i want are starting to kick in. I often have nightmares of rocking up unprepared for my exams, walking in completely blank. I hope for my sake that this is really just a nightmare not a prediction.
Yesterday I think i may have motivated someone to try their best for the HSC even though they've been through a rough patch lately. It does make me feel good that I can help change people's mind through tough love and a website.

http://www.givesmehope.com

restraints

I'm not going to say a word, im not going to show an emotion, im not going to do a thing.
because i know if i do you'll win.
It was always a game.
Havefungoodluckkthanxbyedontpushmeorelseillmakesureyouregretit :)

thats it. im done.

Lately I've been getting involved in more and more shit that seems unnecessary in hindsight. Most of these are social and relationship issues. After a lot of consideration I've come up with a policy to prevent me from ever coming into these situations EVER again.

1. I will help anyone, i trust, if they ask for it.
2. It's a one time offer, once you say no, that's final. After this point onwards I will not jump in to help or run interference for you because that's just not how i run things. I take a casual no, nah or dw (don't worry) as decline on the offer.
3. If i am helping, i do things my ways. I don't need your permission to do anything. You run by my rules and my plan. You follow through 100%, if you don't, well don't expect any help from me ever again after that situation is over.
4. You break out of my plan or decide to do things your ways? i bail right then and there. I will not look back nor will i give a shit how the event ends because you've made your choice.
5. I can adjust this policy as i want, when i want and for what ever reasons i need to.
6. This rule applies for everyone. Regardless of your relationship with me.

a week left till hsc

Next week on this day, i shall start my first HSC exam. English Paper 1: AOS Belonging.
Im somewhat scared yet im also insanely calm about the whole thing. I fear most for 3unit and physics because well i suck at them. Ive been to the library all week this week, studying and doing pass papers. So far ive done 4 pass papers for bio, lost count of how many for 2unit and 3/4s of a 3unit. Still have a lot of studying to do.

Note to future self: Go learn either Krav Maga or Sambo after HSC and train up again :)

going out with a BANG

It has been officially a week since ive graduated from Sefton High School. I've been bus with my studies, camp and ADF interview.

It was a very eventful graduation with speeches from teachers, students and our school captain. Groups of tens went up to get their certificate of graduation. I was the first student in my group of ten and being up on the stage for an assembly was quite nerve wracking. Lots of photos were taken with many students and teachers. i managed to sneak into the morning tea for free with the help of Kelly, Carmen and Mr Cree.

Camp, well it was exactly what i needed. The peace and quiet. The closeness to nature. Nathan and Ryan, my 5 year old and 7 year old bestfriends. the kayaking. Everything was just great for the troubled mind.

ADF interview, could've went better but it wasn't too bad. Didn't meet the weight requirement, need to gain 4 kilos. Was told ADFA is closed for 2010 applications but im still going to push through.

Keeping it short so i have time to study :)