Routines

Life is always about routines. I wake up in the morning i eat my breakie then i walk to school. I spend around 15 minutes trying to make small talk with people who i feel i barely know then i head off to my first period. The rest of the day is pretty much the same not matter what day of the weekday it is except if i have free periods of course. After school i drag my ass back home spend, spend around two hours doing what ever i feel like which is usually tv or sitting on the computer doing lord knows what. Then i sit myself down and try to study or do what ever homework ive accumalated over the week or so. Dinner is always the same , family, asian food and talking in viet; usually arguing over something that might seem insignificant. Then i either go back to studying or laze around till its bed time.

It sucks how my life feels like a continous circle that jst keeps on going and going and going.... Why doesnt anything exciting ever happens to me?

And stupid birthday... Ive spent the last 12 years wishing my birthday could be during the school term so i could feel what it was like to have people wish you a happy birthday in person or even give you punches and now i find out that this year its on the last day of the term whos going to bother with the effort. Doesnt really matter to me it doesnt feel any different then any other day. Wish i was 18, i really want my gun license. Its so boring being me.


-- Post From My iPhone

Its been a long week for me, getting exams back and trying to balance my life out again. So far ive done shit in all but my modern history exam and the mark wasnt even all that good, at least not an asian pass yet.

I went paintball with the guys over the holiday, it was ... Well painful. Since i have my own mask i got special treatment from ref and ... The many paintballs shot at me. I tried to play as fair as i could this time as thanh kept complaining that i cheated so yeah... Didnt turn out too well. Got shot more then usual. Though ironically most of the shots i took, well ones that ended up with bruises, were on my back. What does that tell me? They couldnt take me head on so they had to gank me then shoot a few more rounds into my back. Great sportsmanship guys. I did get my revenge though, during our mexican stand off i flanked and shot up kevin and thanhs head pretty bad. I also held my own and pinned mark's neighbour to a barrel while i was doing it so atleast i know i can shoot efficient supressing fire. Once again the guys who couldnt take me faked running out of bullets and went behind to shoot me in the back. Great nuts guys. It was fun though giving kevin a concussion to remember. I also got to shoot one of the electronic markers or as most people would call them..."pro gun". Sam, our ref, saw that i was interested in the whole paintball scene so he gave me a personal intro into the sport with the basic techniques and what nots. It was cool, i left my detail so when camden opens up their pro shop amd had deals that suited me, they could contact me. Ive decided my next purchase in paintball are going to be paintball pants. I really dont care if im going to get more ganked by it but hell its not for the guys anyways its for me to start practicing to play in them.
Its funny how amongst all the shooting and pain of paintball, the people playing or within the community are very nice.

Maybe its living in the country, maybe its because these people love theyre jobs, who knows to me they seem extremely happy. And in life i rather be happy then rich any day.

It is however sad to find out that scouts is no longer what i thought it would be. Its changed and not for the better unfortunately. The attitude and views of my scout group is on a dark path and they dont know it. Which has led to my decision to quit scouts for a while, maybe a year maybe more.

This is probably the first year in which ive started to jig school. One day last term cause i went out to play some paintball with a few out of school friends and 1 period this term cause cross carnival sucks as. I'll probably jig athletic carnival too and go rock climbing or something more productive. Im not really into the 'normal' sports, no risk no fun i reckon.

Heres to another 140 ish days to my HSC! Cheers!

-- Post From My iPhone

ROFLMAO

Its funny how sometimes people underestimate me; especially when it comes down to money.
Yeah i know at times, i might seem cheap and tight but there is actually a very good reason for it; I hate using any money given to me from my parents. Mostly cause i don't like taking their money and spending it on myself when they earn it. If i have my own money i always use it up before i ever even think about asking my parents for any. Hence why im always a bit tight around cash.

A house was auctioned off today on my street, 1 storey, brick. Went for 445000. Supposely the priced jumped a easy 70000 per bid...

Hanny was there with her mom actually. Her reaction to finding out i living in a rich house, priceless =D.

On a sadder note .... im going to fail 3 unit T____T man i used to be good at maths now i suck...
i hate 3 unit =(

somethings you know responsible even if you werent involved directly

Kevin got suspended today.This makes the count 3. It just pisses me off so much that my little brother can't be like me and learn that violence solves nothing. But then again it's hipocritical of me even say that when I would have easily decked the guy with I was in his position. I am however somewhat glad that he did it, he stood up for himself and he ,for once, didn't start it.

I feel responsible because it was me who set a bad example for him in year 7. One he followed to live up to. I'm the reason that he is so socially different because I myself am socially different. Like me, I fear he will never be able to walk into a room of strangers without getting one or two wierd stares.

This is my mess so I will clean it up no matter what. Because sometime something that is necessary isn't always something right.


-- Post From My iPhone

Wasn't that bad I guess...

With two exams down and five more to go I'm starting to think my half yearlies this year round ... Then again I've yet to do my physics and 3 unit Maths test so maybe it's a bit early to be joyful.


-- Post From My iPhone

exams T_T

once again that time is upon us again, exam time. I am once again unprepared ( atleast to what i would like to be) and eager to get them over with. English tomorrow, going to be one heck of a joy ride.

Yea i proabably should be studying but my mind is running at a million miles per hour so its hard to concentrate on anything T___T

sigh so much for uai of 92 ...

be honest with me

They say when it comes to things that fails, that its 3rd time lucky but i dont need luck, i need you to be honest with me.
while your honesty might hurt me now, it will make it easier for me to heal when the time comes so please be honest with me and be honest with yourself.

Im not going to deny it , i still have feelings for you but these feelings are at times clouded by doubts and troubles. If you want me to be yours, show me that your mine because thats the only way i think we could work.

so dont tell me what you think i want to hear, tell the truth. how do you feel about me ? how much do you like me? how much do you want it to be us, not you and me? Whats going to be the different this time or is it going to end up like before?

When i think of us, i think of the time and fun we had on your birthday, on the train, in the aquarium and on the ride back home. Because that was the moment i thought the defined us, but i guess you thought differently didnt you?

i dont blame you for having second thoughts, but for us, i need you to make up your mind and commit, because being with you feels like a rollercoaster for me.

i know it seems like i whine alot about us , i know it seems like i want this "perfect" relationship between us , but for me in reality i just want us to work out.

so tell me where we stand,prove to me that there can be a us and we'll go from there.