And it begins....

To start off the day i had my modern history exams , i think i did quite average , but once again my thoughts are on things that shouldn't be there. I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail my physics practical exams but on the other hand prob half the grade is going to so I'm not too worried about it...

if only i can get this whole situation out of my head, every minute it haunts me , every second it haunts me . oddly enough the only time it doesn't haunt me is when I'm doing exams , if you don't count the various few second blank out i experience...

If only she hadn't told me before my exams , if only.....

after trying to sleep for 4 hours, i thought of another possibility that may cause why its so hard for me to take this in, maybe its because i loved her , yes i mean love , none of the teenage bullshit that all teens assume is love.. maybe eh?

or maybe its that I'm just so emotionally attached to her i find it hard to see her with a different guy...

Anything i do , eventually relate back to my problems its like a poison that i can't cure...
Some times in life i wish i had a remote that could turn back time , pause time , fast forward time... but then again who doesn't?

The guys have suggested that i should go out with someone else to forget about her , but that's the problem , i can't go out with anyone till i deal with these emotions I'm feeling right now, even if i do the whole relationship will be torn apart because of these emotions and that would put another person in misery... i don't want that ... i just want to solve my emotions now and let them flow away like paper on a river...

then again think back maybe i could've avoided all this, maybe i should have been better to her and our relationship would've lasted long, maybe if i went moon festival with her , she wouldn't have gone out with that guy ... just maybe

In a world where everything moves so fast , i just wish things could slow down and let me think for a while....

Cos' all i need is time...