Because sometimes suicide becomes an option in life...

No I'm not suiciding , its just how i feel at the present time. I feel shit about the situation I'm in , I feel worse because i have exams, i feel worse because my dad keeps putting me down about the smallest things in the world. To top it off i feel more alone then usual. Even when I'm with my friends, my mind is never with them , it's always distant thinking about it again... Yet to solve my emotional problems ... zzz for another day i guess...
Though the talking to friends and various other significant people in my life except her has helped me heaps, it's not as haunting as it used to be two days ago. And in the English exams, it didn't come up once saving me prob a good minute or so? ahahah gotta make the most of my time in an exam i guess

I think i suffer from a light case of Monophobia.

It's an acute fear of being alone and having to cope without a specific person, or perhaps any person, in close proximity. This 'closeness' might mean in the same house or flat or even in the same room.

Except I'm not really in fear of it more of it bugging me constantly , in general when I'm alone , I feel as if I'm vulnerable to society and it's harsh attitude towards the type of person i am...

Note: How I type properly now =D. Trying to improve my English as i go.

Well on the upside , one thing did happen that quietly entertained me, due to our exams going into lunch slightly and my ignorance that our mixed volleyball team was actually away rather then on home, our volleyball team left without us. When I say us i mean 80% of the boys, supposedly there were only 3 year 10 boys who actually went to the game, while the rest of us missed the bus. Today was probably my first and only time that i will ever see i class for "non-sport" that is overfilled and made up of mostly Grade Sport year 11s. 90 % of the class was made up of Year 11s , the rest were like 5 year 8 or 9 kids who just couldn't be fucked going to sport. Of the 90% , 70% belonged to mixed grade volleyball. So yeah i just wonder whether we won any of the matches or not =S?

edit: Probably Kunjudikudi thinks I'm the reason behind why all none of his year 11 players turn up for today's game since i did threaten to strike out on the team one day =S. Wonder how this is going to turn out for me ? z.z

All in all my situation is pretty much the same , except its slowly enlightening itself as people have told me it would. I've also decided to follow the advice of my god sister, Kelly Huynh, to try to forget it and focus as much as i can on my exams , and also the advice of Jenny Huynh of Bankstown Scouts, "just smile and wave Patrick , everything will turn out alright =D"

i just noticed , i know a lot of people who have the last name Huynh , my middle name is Huynh by the way .. if anyone is curious.

Extra note guys: I really don't mind you guys reading this even though its suppose to be my private blog , i would appreciate it if you guys did not spread the link around without asking me as i have no wishes of this blog going to Dylan. I've always had the option between making my blog completely private or slightly private , i decided to make it the latter as it would allow easy of access to my friends and the people i am close to .